How Society Colonizes Our Mind Space
We don’t have the mental space to do things that matter.
I spend so much of my time on numbers. I worry about how much I am spending. I fret over bills and filing taxes and whether or not I can meet a healthcare deductible. I look at my retirement accounts and chart out the thin red line on my computer screen, looking at a date decades into the future when I might not have to worry as much about money.
I then am pulled to the present and worry about the numbers for my job. I pore over click rates and read times. I study SEO optimizations and organic marketing strategies. I keep spreadsheets upon spreadsheets of application deadlines, hoping that this next listing will push me over the edge for that day, month, or year.
On my groggiest days, I do not have much mental and emotional space left. If I have time, I will watch a TV Show, send a quick meme to a friend, or play a video game. Sometimes I spend so much of my time thinking about these numbers and dates that I can’t go to sleep. I play them over and over again in my mind until my legs twitch and I struggle to breathe. I pound my fist against my chest, hoping to clear my mind — to push the white noise of facts and obligations outside my body into the world where they belong.
