ENVIRONMENT

The Denialist PR Group Selling False Hope (ft. Natural Allies)

If something kills you more slowly, it's better!

Why hello there, traveler, and welcome to the "Apocalypse Tour." This is the tour for all those with a morbid fascination with collapse, where we note the locations that significantly impacted species 947's destruction (947 were also known as humanity [hyoo·ma·nuh·tee]). We discuss the physical, digital, and emotionally exhausting locations that contributed to humanity's untimely end on a tiny planet called Earth in the year 90,423 XE (what humans may know as 2XXX AD).

Today, we are looking at Natural Allies, a gas industry PR group that tried to convince puny humans that the substances leading to irreparable damage to their atmosphere were not causing irreparable damage to their atmosphere. Founded by the Resource Monger, the Williams Companies, which specialized in the selling of death chemicals, as well as at least five other similar Resource Mongers called "companies" [kuhm·puh·neez], it poured millions of subsistence tokens into trying to change the minds of people within an empire known as the United States of America [yoo·nai·tuhd stayts uhv uh·meh·ruh·kuh].

If you have been on previous tours, you will be familiar with the story. Humans were governed by an…