“What Do You Do?” Is The Most Important Question In The World

Do you have an answer?

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Well, what do you do?

Imagine the two of us are at a party. We like parties, right? Such fun dalliances.

Hey, so nice to meet you and/or see you again! Remind me, how do we know each other?

Right, right! Well, I am doing fine.

As you know, I am a Strawman, and I provide X market value to Y entity.

Classic examples include:

  1. Working at a tech “startup” where I find clever solutions to eliminate other people’s professions.
  2. Being an online influencer where companies giving me money to trick people into buying their products.
  3. Working for a health insurance company that specializes in triple-charging consumers for necessary medical procedures.
  4. Picking apples for $7.50 an hour, and someone taking that basket of apples and charging people at Whole Foods $15 for it.

What about you? What do you do?

In other words, how do you make money? What do you do that allows you to exist?

If you don’t provide market value or do one of those things society doesn’t pay for like child-rearing or poetry, then how are you alive? You have to make money somehow.

No money = death.

You can try to avoid or deflect the question, but eventually, I am going to find out who, if not you, is doing the things that allow you to do your worthless non-things.

Follow me?

Once you tell me what you do that makes you worthy of existence, then this conversation can start to get a little less fucking tense.

Why are you swearing?

You started it.

Just tell me what you do?

What do you fucking do?

Oh, really? Fascinating. I had a friend/family member/life experience that relates to that thing in some way. Isn’t it great that we both can relate to using our skills and assets to extract wealth?

Mondays, amirite?

Maybe I can connect you to a contact I have to further your wealth extraction, and increase our financial compatibility?

Hey, why are you listing other things that you want to do? You already told me the stuff that you do that allows you to extract wealth.

What else matters?

Sorry, I am going to stop you there. I really don’t care about your “hobbies” (unless, of course, they make money. If so, then, wow, look at your hustle).

I am only interested in what you do to build wealth and/or pass the time when you are not creating wealth. You have to choose one thing, and run with it. Otherwise, you might not have time to do the job that allows you to exist.

Remember: No money = death.

Do you want to die?


Maybe in 3 or 4 years, you can branch out into doing other things. Only if you are lucky, though.

For the time being, just try to stay focused.

Keep that nose to the grindstone. The wealth you build can be used to pay for a new nose when it falls off.

Maybe? It depends on your work ethic.

Now that we have settled that ugly business, what commodities do you consume to pass the time?

I like that new show on Netflix.

Aren’t you glad that I am now comfortable with your existence? You useful person, you.

We can interact now. It would have been so awkward to have had to grabble with your uselessness at this party. That would have been a total bummer, man, and who likes to be mildly inconvenienced by other’s misfortunes at a party?

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I write about pop culture, politics, and every in between.

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